I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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