I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize