Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
