the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
