I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
