i wish peter jackson would direct porn
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
