Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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