I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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