Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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