So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
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you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
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They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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