yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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