It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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