need another drink. this is the easiest way
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i now understand why vodka
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
