is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize