I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
