are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize