somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
