remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
