i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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