I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
