I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
