obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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