Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
