It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Then you guys just all showered together...?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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