East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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