Plan B is the new Plan A
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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