Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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