Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
