Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
