She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
