Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
