just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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