when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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