i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
