dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
