There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
