Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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