Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
