fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
sex in a hospital.. check
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
