I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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