btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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