Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize