Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
