For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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