I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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