after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
