ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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