Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
