ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
