I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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