nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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