lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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