Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I am one with the molecules
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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