Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
