What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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