I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
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