i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
