please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
