Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
